Jacob’s story

I didn’t realise hope was a gift until I became a mum. My little boy taught me many things and that was one of them. 

I often said the words “I hope for...” but until Jacob, I didn’t realise it’s not something you wish for, it’s something that’s always there and is magnified by the love of others.

Jacob was a beautiful 7lb 8oz baby boy and completed our family. I had dreams about life as a mother but Jacob took me down a different path; one I wouldn’t have chosen but one I’m so privileged to have been on.

Jacob was born with a cataract and hearing loss. I always knew Jacob wasn’t an average baby (I don’t like the word normal) and as he grew I voiced my concerns about slow development, sleepiness and slow feeding to the professionals, but was told not to worry. 

At nine months he had his first seizure, which increased in frequency. At 14 months doctors indicated he had Mitochondrial Disease with no treatment or cure. We knew Jacob was going to die and there was nothing we could do. 

We were referred to EACH Milton. Our friends had been involved with them, and knew they could help. In March Jacob was admitted to the paediatric intensive care unit (PICU) where we were told he had months, not years, left with us.  

We arrived at the hospice feeling scared and alone. We had so many questions - How did we arrange a funeral? Would he be left alone? They answered them all and more. On the way home we saw a rainbow. Even in this dark place there was still hope. 

On 20 April 2012 Jacob died in my arms very peacefully with his daddy holding his hand. We drove him to the hospice where he spent ten days until his funeral. The staff looked after us, helped us plan his funeral and say goodbye. He slept in a bed with his teddies, duvet and pillow. The staff played him nursery rhymes and talked to him every day. 

EACH cared for the whole family especially my niece and nephew. My nephew visited Jacob in his room and said “it looks like he’s asleep.” He cuddled him and asked me to read them a story. Afterwards he asked “is it always this lovely when someone dies?”

We went to a memory day and the children got another opportunity to see death isn’t scary and there’s always hope that we’ll be happy and can remember Jacob with joy. 
Without Jacob and the hospice, I’m not sure our family would have the real hope we all do. I can’t imagine what it would have been like. Nobody should have to, every family should be offered the support we were, and are still getting. 

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  • It’s been a great opportunity to meet other parents in a similar situation, something that doesn't really happen anywhere else. Helen, William’s mum
  • We arrived at the hospice feeling scared and alone. We had so many questions – they answered them all and more. Claire, Jacob’s mum
  • When we first heard about the hospice we were apprehensive because we didn’t know what to expect. When we got there we realised it was a lovely place where Renee would be well looked after, and we would be able to have a much-needed break. Stacy, Renee’s mum
  • I didn’t realise hope was a gift until I became a mum. My little boy taught me many things and that was one of them Claire, Jacob’s mum
  • I can’t imagine what it would have been like. Nobody should have to, every family should be offered the support we were, and are still getting Claire, Jacob’s mum
  • EACH helps us to create lovely memories and has played an important part in all of our lives, not just Lucy’s. Heather, Lucy’s mum
  • EACH helped us with coping mechanisms and special ways of remembering Stanley. Brad, Stanley's Dad
  • EACH supports families when they’re at their absolute lowest, helping them to come to terms with their child’s illness, losing them and beyond Brad, Stanley's Dad
  • Children like Lucy don’t get the opportunity to go to sleepovers or to their friends for tea, so the interaction she has at the hospice is priceless. Heather, Lucy’s mum
  • I really love going to the hospice. I’ve made friends there and get to do loads of fun stuff. Renee
  • We are also supported by the 24/7 True Colours nurses and it’s so reassuring knowing we can call on them whenever we need support or advice Helen, William’s mum
  • EACH has helped us keep Stanley’s memory alive. And allows us to look to the future Brad, Stanley's Dad
  • The play specialists are excellent and I also get inspiration from the activities they organise. Heather, Lucy’s mum
  • Renee loves going to The Treehouse, but it’s great that care staff are also able to visit us at home too. Stacy, Renee’s mum

The Treehouse

St. Augustine’s Gardens,
Ipswich, IP3 8NS

Milton

Church Lane, Milton,
Cambridge, CB24 6AB

Quidenham

Quidenham , Norwich,
Norfolk, NR16 2PH