This video tells of Mason's short walk in life and how EACH continue to support his family.
Please be warned this is a very emotive piece, centering on one of the most important aspects of our service, end of life care.
OUR WALK IN LIFE by Amanda, Mason’s Mum
A Norfolk mum describes her family’s short walk together in the life of their baby son, and how EACH at Quidenham continues to help them all.
In January 2008, Mason was to be our fourth child - a little one for Justina, Nathan and Amelia to enjoy. However, following a routine pregnancy our world turned upside down. As my labour progressed it became apparent that Mason had a faint heartbeat and I was rushed in for an emergency c-section.
I woke to see my hubby Luke in shock, full of tears and sadness saying "we have another boy, another son, but he is unwell, very poorly, he has been resuscitated, he probably won’t live." Due to a lack of oxygen, Mason was born severely brain damaged – he was being kept alive by machines.
It was absolutely heart wrenching, never more so than when we had to tell his brother and sisters. I held our baby boy in my arms while they all came to say hello, and goodbye at the same time.
The few hours we had with our baby boy were precious to us all. Our family and friends all taking turns to say hello and deliver special kisses. It all felt unreal, like it wasn’t really happening.
The time came to make the agonising decision to turn off Mason’s life support, to allow our son to rest in peace in heaven. With all our family and friends supporting us we had him blessed by the hospital Chaplain, and then I washed and dressed him, ready to say our goodbyes.
His grandparents, aunties and uncles all kissed him goodbye and then waited in another room with our three heartbroken children. Luke and I had one last time with him alone. I cradled him in my arms while Luke held me so tight - with lots of tears, we watched our son take a big sigh and said goodnight.
The help we needed...
During this terrible time, two members of the EACH Family Support team from Quidenham came to see us at the hospital. They explained how they could help and support us – it was reassuring but difficult to take in.
After Mason died they both came back to the hospital to support us. They offered to make cast moulds and prints of Mason’s hands and feet - unsure, we reluctantly said yes. It wasn’t until later we realised how precious and special these items are - we have tiny feet as casts and on Mason’s gravestone, little treasures to keep forever.
Since then, EACH has become an enormous source of support, helping Luke and I as a couple and allowing us to stay strong for our children.
Justina, Nathan and Amelia have all joined the EACH Sibling Group and my hubby and I have been able to meet with other parents who feel just like us. People who really understand how we are feeling and people who we share laughter and tears with.
As well as being able to talk and spend time with other families, our children also receive individual bereavement support at home - an environment they are comfortable in. They are able to release their feelings with their EACH Family Support Practitioner, as my daughter says "in a good way, in a way you don’t realise you’re doing it."
The children have also benefited from EACH’s creative arts in our home. Nathan made a drumstick holder, a figure with rainbow hair just like the one on Mason’s gravestone. Linking the artwork to Mason enabled him to release feelings about his brother – amazing.
Remembering Mason...
In September last year we were invited as a family to an EACH Memory Day at the Hospice. It was incredible, something really special. As part of the activities, we made a special paper leaf and wrote messages to Mason on it. We then tied it to a balloon and released it after the ceremony – a very special moment for us all.
Memory days will allow us to visit the hospice each year and remember our precious Mason, along with other bereaved families that EACH support.
Without EACH we would feel completely isolated...
We are a very close and open family and our friends all care very much. They want to help, and do, but they don’t really understand how we feel or what we’ve been through, not really.
With the help of EACH, Luke and I can release our feelings as a couple and be told it’s normal to feel how we feel. It gives us the strength and energy to move forward, together. As every month goes by we feel the strength to carry on and cope with the heartache we have without our baby boy.
We thank EACH, and its supporters.
